#100MonstrousPoems 94: Honey Island Swamp Monster

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Jun 15, 2021 by Tom

Daddy was an alligator
Mama was a chimp
And whatever else you say about her
Mama weren’t no wimp.
She used to be a circus gal
Until she ran away
Found daddy in the swamp
And then decided she would stay

Now I don’t like to talk about
The way that I was made
But most of the particulars
You’ve hit on, I’m afraid
But Daddy loved my Mama
And my Mama loved him too
And in the face of romance
Well, what are you gonna do?

But I ain’t no alligator,
Nor am I a chimpanzee
And there’s never been a critter
That’s as frightening as me
I’m strong, I’m fast, I’m clever
I could snap you like a twig
And if I joined the circus,
I could really make it big.

But my Mama told me stories
‘Bout the life she left behind
The chains, the whips the cages
Hey, I’m not out of my mind!
I’ll never let ’em catch me
But I’ll own, I sometimes dream
Of the glamour of the spotlight:
Oh my lord, I’d make you scream!

I heard they made a comic book
About a fearsome beast
That lives deep within the Bayou swamp:
They might have asked, at least!
And they got so many details wrong,
I almost found it funny
But my name was never “Swamp Thing”,
That’s ridiculous: I’m Honey!