Sestina Day 18: Granny and Porn. (as poems go, probably NSFW)

2

March 30, 2011 by Sez

This one is for the delightful bundle of loveliness that is my friend Graeme. He asked my on the phone yesterday:  ‘are you doing any writing at the moment?’

Well, yeah.

So he gave me 6 keywords with a very specific message in mind, which I’ve done my damnedest to subvert.

The result is  kind of an accidental homage to another ‘dear little white haired old lady’ who is very special to Graeme and me.

She was cold and old and lonely.
Had a second hand computer
From her son. It made her sad
To think that all she had in life
Was this contraption full of porn
Left by her son – the little wanker

Never visited, the wanker,
Didn’t care if she was lonely,
Stayed at home, just watching porn
On his new, up to date computer
She’d no doubt. And all her life
She’d made sure he was never sad.

It made her feel afraid and sad
To use the thing, because that wanker.
Would not waste his precious life
In helping her to feel less lonely
Or showing her how this computer
Worked. He’d even left his porn

On there:  it was quite hardcore porn!
At first she had been shocked, not sad,
To think that he used his computer
Just to have a crafty wank. A
Thought occurred: “perhaps he’s lonely.
And the porn improves his life.”

So. for the first time in her life.
She went online and searched for porn.
She was so sick of feeling lonely,
Old, frustrated, cross and sad.
Well, if her son could be a wanker,
So could she! At her computer

She clicks onto ‘my computer’
Feeling young and full of life,
But knowing she’s a mad old wanker
Searches through the files of porn
For ‘lesbo fun’. She just feels sad
To think her son must be so lonely,

Staring (wanker) at computer
Screens, so lonely with his porn.
But that’s his life. She won’t feel sad.

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2 thoughts on “Sestina Day 18: Granny and Porn. (as poems go, probably NSFW)

  1. Riot Kitty says:

    Yeah, that headline threw me – especially since one of my grandmothers is dead 😉

  2. Auntie Doris says:

    Reminds me of my nephew Michael…. The filthy so and so!

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